FRIENDSHIP: TERMS & CONDITIONS

I actually wrote this over a month ago but felt it didn't make much sense, so I didn't bother posting it. Well that's not entirely true. I was suffering from what I call 'writer's laziness'. I had written the post over a month ago but was too lazy to edit it, added to the feeling of no one being able to relate to it.

Anyway, motivation came about a week ago while I was chatting with my friend, Mute. I can't remember exactly what I asked him during the course of the chat, but I remember him replying with 'you need to read the terms and conditions again'. I asked what terms and conditions, he said the one for our friendship.

Puzzled, I asked when did we write them? Then I remembered this post. I explained how I had written something about 'terms and conditions of friendships' and my laziness to post it.

So I'm dedicating this post to Mute; for giving me the motivation to finally edit and post it.

'In general, lines are there for a reason. For security, for clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk' – Meredith Grey (Grey’s anatomy)

“A stranger is a friend waiting to be made’- Unknown

Ever tried to recall how you and your close friend met? Can you remember the first words spoken? First smile and laughter shared? The exact situation that made your paths cross?

Go down memory lane and then you’d realize how funny and weird your first encounter would seem now. Think back and you’ll be amazed the journey you guys have been on to get to this stage of closeness.

‘It’s amazing how nothing seems to happen each day but when we look back, we realize a lot has changed.’ – Unknown

I can still recollect how I met a few close friends back in the days, I wish I could remember how I met all my friends (or better still, have a video playback of my first encounter with all of them). Some I met in normal situations, others in really awkward moments, I never for once expected a good friendship to grow out of, but here we are today or is it those I disliked from a distance without even knowing them yet?

My puzzle now though is this – from strangers to close friends, how did we get here?

Were silent rules set? Of course, we all don’t discuss certain areas of our lives with all our friends. With each friend there seems to be boundaries and like minded factors that bring us together.

Did we set unspoken terms and conditions? How did we know the boundaries and lines not to be crossed? When were they set?

For those friends we seem much more free to discuss almost everything with, when did we hit the ice breaker?

How do we unconsciously know when we have crossed to another level of closeness with a particular friend? Human relationship may look simple, but it’s actually quite complex and funny at the same time.

Sometimes people cross lines and a quarrel ensues, sometimes that might be the end of that friendship, but other times they reconcile only to become even closer friends than they were initially.

Ever heard stuff like ‘when did that one start?’ ‘when did we get to that level of closeness that you had the mind to…’ well, I have heard them and a few other similar statements, mostly from the female folks (no disrespect intended). Just boils down to the unspoken boundaries and lines not to be crossed, but when were they set? Was there a mutual agreement?

I guess to answer my puzzle, maybe one nature channel should focus their camera on two strangers and intensely follow them daily. See how the friendship evolves and how the seemingly unspoken 'terms and conditions of that friendship' is set, just like they follow and study animals.