“Just because you did something wrong in the
past doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it now. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite,
you grew. Don’t let people use your past to invalidate your current mindset.
Growth; a concept. Embrace it.” - @prinzgbemi
I saw this on twitter recently
and I could relate. Alongside reading
other people’s blog, lately I have been reading some of my old blog posts and I
realized just how much I have grown. It was easy back then for me to write
posts about life issues and have strong opinions about so many things.
I hadn’t lived then, I was in the
comfort of my home judging based on logic what should be and what shouldn’t be.
How to deal with stuff or process feelings and what not. What did I even know? It
was easy seeing life as black and white and having common sense right answers/solutions
to them. But truth is, life as I have come to know it is not black and white.
To a large extent I have grown
and well, like most persons I needed hard stuff to happen to me first before I could
learn empathy. I’m still working on being a better version of myself, I mean I can
still be very difficult/opinionated and impossible at times and straight up
annoying too. But I guess we are all humans with our individual flaws.
It’s been interesting reading my
old blog posts. It’s like I have documented a timeline of my life phases. Reading
from the very start (2012) and seeing how my outlook on life has been changing is
really something. It makes me feel fulfilled that truly, I am on the path of
finding who I am and actually working towards that idea of what I want my life
to be.
Reading some posts brings smiles
to my face as I remember the person I wrote about or the particular phase of my
life. Some posts make me feel sad, reminds me of some things that are still
plaguing me till date while others make me shake my head and realise how much
those issues seemed like a big deal then but now they are distant memories.
Some of the posts really had me
laughing especially the ones about my NYSC days and the funny stuff that just
kept happening and well, makes me long for those seemingly carefree days now. To
think I wanted to be done with that phase of life and start working, be the
adult and live life on my terms. *sigh. If only I knew…
Still though, I’m glad I am
through with that phase and most importantly done with job hunting phase. I think
that job hunting phase has got to be one of the worst phases of my life. I may
not exactly be where I want in terms of living on my terms but I think I’m
still on track. Reading my blog posts, I
realised I was actually losing focus of this till 2016 when I had a reawakening
and I knew I had to do something about it, else life was going to pass me by
while I barely existed.
I made a conscious effort to
live, to explore and travel. To do that which was dear to me and has always
been a part of me.
One by one, I have ticked off
things from my bucket list and with each tick I feel good about it ‘cus these
things are more than posting dope pictures on the gram. All these things are
being done for me. Most times, travel serves as escape from my reality. It helps
keep me sane when it feels like my world is imploding and I feel like I’m
drowning, fighting so hard to survive and get ashore so I can breathe. When everything
feels grey and I feel like life is really overwhelming, just one trip and I feel
alive again.
Photography comes as a bonus with
my travels. I have a deep passion for photography and I still hope that someday
I will be able to attend an extended course in photography but for now I think I
need more of travels to keep me sound and feeling alive.
Talking about travels, I’m glad
July is over. I plan on chilling through August while I wait patiently for September
‘cus annual leave yo! Yea I know... After all my travels this year I still have
full annual leave? Hehehe... I get that
a lot from my colleagues at work. Thanks to travel blogs I have read, I got the
tip about planning travels around public holidays and we all know how we have
quite a lot of that in Nigeria.
The plan to chill through August
is centred mostly around music. I’m still stuck on the new Daughtry Album while
I anticipate more album releases next month. Some albums I’m looking forward to
include Kodaline (August 10th), Jason Mraz (August 10th),
Death Cab for Cutie (August 17), Troye Sivan (Bloom) and Bastille.
So growth eh? One aspect of my
life I’m consciously working on is how to stay calm and not feel a thing. Remember that post about stuff spoiling around
me? Then it got to a stage where I began to feel overwhelmed?
I’m learning this thing where I don’t
let stuff stress me anymore. When stuff happens, I say it’s just money needed
to fix it…then I move on, no stress or worries. Like Uche tweeted recently (well
he now prefers being called Paul ever since he went to the abroad) – ‘I don’t know how to be upset for long
anymore. I’m always like, ‘okay it has happened, next.’ No time crying over
spilled milk” - @scultator
Aside this, I’m also trying to
master separating various aspects of my life. Learning how to carry on and be functional
even if stuff isn’t working well on one hand; say maybe at work or professional
exams results come out disappointing or family issues.
Before, when something happens I allow
it ruin every other aspect of my life and get me down but now I try to ignore
that down part and forge on being happy and thankful for the other aspects of
life that things are going on fine. Ignoring the bad and focusing on the good,
hoping that soon enough all the lines shall fall in pleasant places.
“It takes a lot of strength to be able to
keep all the different parts of your life separated, not letting an issue on
one part affect another.” - @terhso
Watching myself learn about life
and grow into a better man is quite something. Even though it’s a long road but
it’s all worth it.
