2016: MUSIC REVIEW

A minute of silence in honour of the legendary artists that went with 2016 – Prince, George Michael, David Bowie et al….

As usual, my disclaimer -

Disclaimer: I’m not a fan of rap. In as much as I love to explore music and try not to confine myself to particular genres/sounds, like my friend Paschal said – art is to be enjoyed, not endured.

Kindly note that the absence of Drake’s widely acclaimed album (Views) or Chance the rapper’s Coloring book album in this post doesn’t mean I’m saying they weren’t good albums. I just I don’t do rap. Though I enjoy one or two rap songs, but generally that genre just doesn’t work for me.

2016 was another great year in music. Without much further ado here are my top 10 best albums of the 2016 starting from the best.

1.               Lemonade by Beyonce

This album is a masterpiece. What makes it stand out is that all the songs that make up the album are of different genres, all beautifully put together to tell a story. The theme of the album wasn’t lost on anyone. In this album you get to appreciate Beyonce holding down different genres - R&B, Reggae, Folk rock, Pop, Country, Hip hop, Trap music. This album is the total package.

2.               The Human Condition by Jon Bellion

I got to know about this album via a referral from Ayodele. Fresh sound! Very different from what’s out there. I love that it also has a clear theme and how he infused gospel into the lyrics of some of the tracks even though he doesn’t consider himself a gospel artist.

2016 was the year I heard of Jon Bellion. As I always do, I searched google for more information on him and discovered he had previously released albums. Well, turns out the sound wasn’t really all that new, though unique to him. The Human Condition lost few points because it sounded like a continuation of his previous album - The Definition. The songs sounded alike. This was the major issue I had with Adele’s 25, sounded like a continuation of 21 album.

I have stated it before, that I am all for an artist growing. I love it when an artist’s changes their sound, it shows growth and versatility. One shouldn’t stay safe and keep doing same old stuff all the time, it gets quite boring. Notwithstanding, The Human Condition is still one of my best albums of 2016

3.               Oh My My by One Republic

This album almost went the way of Justin Bieber’s Purpose album. Too many tracks in one album (16 tracks in the first release, 21 tracks in the deluxe edition) Common!

That’s just way too much songs in one album. Along the line one tends to get distracted and probably stop listening all together.

Still it was nice hearing One Republic explore new sounds, especially the incorporation of electronic beats while still being able to deliver something amazing. Kids and Choke are the stand out tracks on the album.

4.               Boxes by Goo Goo Dolls

It’s been a while I heard something new from the band. Linda asked I check out their song – boxes. When I heard it I had to know which album it was from only to discover they had released a new album! After listening to a few more tracks, I knew I had to get the album.

New sound and direction from them, but you can still hear the all familiar coarse voice of the frontman – John Rzeznik. This is officially my best rock album of 2016. What I love most about the album is the deep lyrics of the songs. Words that I can relate to.

5.               Anti by Rihanna

This was like the most anticipated album of the year. We had all gotten used to Rihanna releasing an album every year, so when the follow up to her 2012 Unapologetic album wasn’t forth coming things didn’t seem okay. The build-up over the years... Was it worth the wait?

Anti boasts of several well produced songs with deeper themes than her previous pop happy songs. I love that she tried to venture into something different. Listening to Anti, you can’t miss the growth in her craft over the years. This is not a quickly put together album with fillers. This time you actually feel the artistic part of her, like you have an idea of the direction she was going with this album but not exactly still. Though not my best album from her, Anti definitely ranks high up there amongst my favs from Rihanna.

6.               Soup by Sebastian Kole

I got to know about Kole from his feature on Alessia Cara’s Stone track. One day I was surfing the net when I came across this amazing song from him featuring Alessia Cara still - Remember home. I was all over the song and needed to hear more of his work. That’s how I found out his debut album released in 2016 – Soup. Next thing, I heard about two of the songs from the album on Grey’s anatomy. That feeling when you hear songs you know used as soundtrack in a TV series or movie…

7.               This is acting by Sia

This is one of the albums I really wanted to listen to in 2016 and it didn’t disappoint. In 2015, Sia stated she was going to release an album of songs she felt would be hits but got rejected by the top artists she wrote them for.  Cheap thrills still went to number one despite Rihanna not being the one who released it. I guess her experiment worked out fine, ‘cus the idea was how well will the seemingly rejected songs perform without the A-list start power behind them?

8.               Nine Track Mind by Charlie Puth

This is basically a feel good album. No heavy production or plenty drama going on. It has this easy flow from tract to track and before I knew it, I could sing along to almost every song on the album. So imagine my shock, when I realized it was heavily panned by critics. Well, their loss.

9.               Road Less Traveled by Boyce Avenue

I got to know about Boyce Avenue when I heard their cover of Fun’s We are young on a radio show. I downloaded more songs from them, though mostly covers. I realized they also have original albums. Road less traveled was released in 2016. Totally worth the megabytes used in downloading it. Songs like Queen of hearts, Anchor and Biggest fan made the album for me though they gave me reminiscence Westlife’s songs.

10.            Back from the Edge by James Arthur

The second track on the album - Say you won’t let go was my daily anthem for about three weeks. Other songs like - The Truth, Finally, I am and If only bring out that rich voice of James Arthur. His vocals are amazing. Hopefully this album would help save his career he almost ruined with his loose utterances back in the day. Part of the album deals with this and how he has moved past his addictions and destructive ways. One thing about the album is the sincerity in the lyrics.

11.              Something worth saving by Gavin Degraw

12.              Mad love by Jojo

13.              Flash back by Jamestown Story

THE UNDER-PERFOMERS

These are the albums I expected so much from, either due to the past track record of the artist when it comes to churning out great albums or due to the hype around the album. The most under performing of all has got to be Frank Ocean’s Blonde. Yes, there were some great songs on the album, but that wasn’t enough to distract me from the disappointing compilation of songs. And what was that Endless crap he released two days earlier before releasing the actual album?

Has Lady Gaga lost her edge or is she now actually being the true artist she really wanted to be? You can tell she is moving towards doing songs that reflects her person and not her initial chart topping singles that came with all the drama and crazy costumes. Sadly, it’s just not working.

The Weekend’s Starboy album is a mediocre album compared to his first album or is he suffering the curse of having an amazing first album? Same goes for Bastille. Well, I did diss The Weekend’s first album last year but it later grew on me, maybe same would happen with Starboy.

Possibly I have outgrown 3 doors down or maybe I am stuck in the past with their old style of music. I didn’t feel this their new album at all, too ‘hard rocky’ for me. Colbie Caillat broke my heart, I just can’t with this her new album. Nothing remarkable about it.

Someone said maybe Zayn Malik is the Kelly Rowland of One Direction and Pillow talk is his Dilemma. We all know that story all too well. Waiting on you Harry Styles…

I have never trusted Bruno Mars albums, his first two albums were dope but over time I quickly realized he is more of a hit singles kinda guy.

1.               Wild world by Bastille

2.               The Malibu Sessions by Colbie Caillat

3.               Mind of mine by Zayn

4.               Blonde by Frank Ocean

5.               Joanne by Lady Gaga

6.               24k Magic by Bruno Mars

7.               Starboy by The Weekend

8.               Us and the Night by 3 Doors Down

WORTHY MENTIONS FROM 2015

These are great albums I discovered in 2016 but were actually released in 2015. These albums gave me life during the course of the year, and I highly recommend them.

1.               The hill by Travis Greene

2.               Know it all by Alessia Cara

3.               Chaos and the calm by James Bay

4.               Blue Neighbourhood by Troye Sivan

TOP SONGS THAT SAW ME THROUGH 2016 (irrespective of year of release)

These are songs that at one time or the other I played over and over on repeat. Songs that got me through difficult times, or times when I felt numb.

1.               Stone - Alessia Cara

2.               Unsteady – X Ambassadors

3.               Made a way - Travis Greene

4.               Intentional - Travis Greene

5.               The Hill - Travis Greene

6.               River of tears - Alessia Cara

7.               Waiting game - Parson James

8.               Say you love me - Jessie Ware

9.               Running - James Bay

10.            Stars - Alessia Cara

11.            Close to you – Rihanna

12.            Sandcastles – Beyonce

13.            Chasing cars – Sleeping at last (Snow Patrol cover)

14.            Pray you catch me – Beyonce

15.            Onise Iyanu – Nathaniel Bassey ft Micah Stampley

16.            Talk me down – Troye Sivan

17.            Silhouettes – Aquilo

18.             Remember home – Sebastian Kole ft Alessia Cara

19.            I don’t want to love somebody else – A great big worlds

20.            Yours – Ella Handerson

21.            I won’t give up – Jason Mraz

22.            Wonder (spontaneous) – Bethel Mausie $ Amanda Cook

23.            My world needs you – Kirk Franklin et al

24.            Halo – Kris Orlowski (Beyonce cover)

25.            Rise – Boyce Avenue (Katy Perry cover)

26.            Thick skin – Leona Lewis

27.            Where’s my love – Syml

28.            Say you won’t let go – James Arthur

29.            Loving me – Jonathan McReynolds

30.            Your love – Allman Brown

Top singles I recommend in case you want to update your music playlist

1.               Scars to your beautiful – Alessia Cara

2.               If only – James Arthur

3.               Alkaline – Timeflies

4.               The truth – James Arthur

5.               Another love – Odell

6.               The Anthem – Planet Shakers

7.               Waiting – Aquilo

8.               You were supposed to be different – Aron Wright

9.               Don’t question my love – Aron Wright

10.            Get along – Guy Sebastian

11.            Carry your throne – Jon Bellion

12.            Clarity – Zedd

13.            Crush – Yuna ft Usher

14.            Youth – Troye Sivan

15.            Craving – James Bay

16.            Fragile – Kygo ft Labrinth

17.            Fast car – Jasmine Thompson (Tracy Chapman cover)

18.            Someday maybe – Harry Styles ft Meghan Trainor

19.            Age to age (His Glory appears) – Hillsong

20.            Hold back the river – James Bay

21.            Human – Jon Bellion

22.            I call, you answer – Hillsong

23.            I don’t want to live forever – Zayn & Taylor Swift

24.            Closer – The Chainsmokers

25.            Don’t let me down – The Chainsmokers ft Hasley

26.            I’ll keep you safe – Sleeping at last

27.            In the name of love – Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha

28.            Scars – James Bay

29.            Like I’m gonna lose you – Jasmine Thompson (Kelly Clarkson cover)

30.            Shatter me – Lindsey Stirling

31.            7 years – Lukas Graham

32.            Mad over you – Runtown

33.            Pana – Tekno

34.            Connect – Phyno

35.            Soldier – Falz ft Simi

36.            Friendzone – Adekunle Gold

37.            Make me cry – Noah Cyrus ft Labrinth

38.            Mama – Kiss Daniel

39.            Amazing – Matt Cardle

40.            My beautiful love – Johnny Drille

41.            Weekend – Priory

42.            I feel it coming – The Weekend ft Daft Punk

43.            My song – Alessia Cara

44.            Till the end – Jessie Ware

45.            Can’t stop the feeling – Justin Timberlake

46.            This is what you came for - Clavin Harris & Rihanna

47.            Wait – M83

48.            Heathens- Twenty one pilot

49.            Sucker for pain - Lil Wayne et al

50.            Ohio – Jacob Whitesides

                        

THINGS I’M TAKING AWAY FROM 2016....CONT’D

6.         BE YOUR OWN HERO 

It’s good to have someone to talk to, that listening ear to hear you out. Not necessarily for advice, rather, ‘cuz just letting it out can bring clarity. But then, don’t make the mistake of leaning so much on that person. Because -

My style when I’m feeling down or going through serious stuff is to shut the world out. I deactivate my social media accounts, go offline and just stay within my own space, pray and listen to music.

I’m lucky to have close friends I get to chat/talk stuff out with also, and it really helps but never have I really opened up to someone completely about my inner pains. Like actually voice out some stuff I have never said to anyone before or even spoken aloud. I did that this year and it was a terrible mistake.

For the first time I told someone, I broke down and the person was there (or so I thought). It felt okay, like I was safe. I thought the person got me. Then I let my guard down and just leaned completely on this person’s shoulder.

No one is Jesus Christ. Everyone has their own issues, so really it was unfair what I did pouring all my luggage. Next thing I heard from a mutual friend was that I was described as being needy. Mehn that shit hurt!

Oh well… Anyway, lesson learnt. Never again would that happen. I’ll continue to be my own hero and learn to process my stuff my own way.

It is okay to talk to someone but please give them breathing space also. They too have their own issues, even that your pastor, he was first human before he became a pastor and even after being called, he is still human and has his own issues.

Please let us learn to be our own heroes. No one really likes a needy person. The only one I know who is never tired of us pouring our frustration on him is Jesus Christ.

7.         AGE IS NOT A NUMBER 

Another December 14 has passed. I think I should give up trying to hide my birthday ‘cus no matter how hard I try to, people always remember…

For the very first time, my age actually bothered me. Normally I complain that I’m getting old and all, but it’s usually just bants.

This time it was for real. I wasn’t happy at all. Why? I didn’t feel complete. A kid was missing from the picture, but still, I know I’m not yet ready for that responsibility as there are stuff I need to put in place first.

I feel like I need more time to explore, figure things out, see the world and satisfy my curiosity before finally settling down to start a family. I don’t want to be 60years old and still doing school run, neither do I want to be 60 years old and feel like I didn’t live enough or see the world or explore/open myself to things.

At work that day (December 14^th), my branch Manager came to my desk and was going on about with the birthday wishes…I started complaining and saying I wasn’t feeling excited and maybe  I shouldn’t have even come to work.

He said I should be happy that don’t I know some people that would have been celebrating their birthday same day are in the grave? Then I said, they are in a better place, after all that’s what people say when someone dies.

He was stunned. Totally speechless. He didn’t have another word for me. He gave me that look he gives each time I say something outrageous/ridiculous but I know this one topped it all. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to be alive but then I’m stepping into this serious phase of life, one I don’t think I’m ready for.

30 years maybe this close but I think I still have time to do stuff on my bucket list and keep the memories for myself. What I need now is to just focus and work towards living the life I have always pictured.

When Ose came to my place some weeks back, he saw the glowing stars I put on my wallpaper. He was like, you have started bringing your fantasies to reality. What he said made me feel like I was on track as regards living my dreams.

I’m no more just dreaming or writing about my thoughts on how I want my life to be but this is me actually doing them for real. Yes, there are one or two major steps I’m yet to take, majorly because even the thought of it freaks me out but I know it’s time to face it. Just go for it and carry on from there…

                   

8.         LIFE IS NOT WHITE AND BLACK

There are some things I used to feel so strongly about or borderline sure that I wasn’t capable of doing. Things like falling in love with a married woman, or cheating, divorce, fraud, betrayal. Mostly those stuff that has to do with morality.

I was so opinionated about having to do the right thing that I most times tended to be harsh on my friends, those I felt were doing stuff that I considered morally unacceptable.

Sometimes you need to be in certain situations before you can actually appreciate what people are going through. This year I learnt that life isn’t black and white. There are no hard and fast rules.

I fell in love with someone who is married. At first I was in denial about my feelings because I felt it just couldn’t be. This was the very thing I stood against, but as the days went by, the feelings grew stronger. I got to a point where I began questioning everything I stood for. Should I indulge and lower my moral standards?       

As I have come to realize, life isn’t black and white. Having the feelings wasn’t the crime but acting on it was. So I did what I know my conscience would allow me live with…I walked away. 

I don’t judge anyone or have opinions about anything anymore. I’m just here living life with the mind-set that anyone could find themselves in whatever situation at any time. When we get to that bridge…we’ll cross it and sort it out accordingly as the situation presents itself. No hard and fast rules to life.

9.         GOD ALWAYS GIVES ME BETTER

I was discussing with someone recently, he was giving me props for how orderly my life seemed to be. I stopped him and said not really, that I actually see it as a problem. 

I have a thing for planning everything. I want to always be in control of every detail as much as possible in order to have an easy ride through my day’s schedule (of course I always make room for mishaps as I know full well I don’t own myself or my time). But to a large extent I tend to plan everything but if it doesn’t work as planned I have learnt to accept it as it comes and make do. 

Planning too much tends to make me obsess and worry about things working out as planned. Very unhealthy and also in contrary to God’s word. I have over the years had to learn patience and also learnt to completely rely on God and know that whatever happens to me is permitted by Him and as such, no matter how rough that particular period of my life is, it would always work out for my good. Heck, most times things come out even much better than I prayed for.

Concerning work, I have since learned that it is all in His hands. The moment I let go and stopped trying to meet my targets myself, God has been blowing my mind time and again.

Towards the end of each financial year everyone tries to arrange himself. I don’t wait for December before I start sorting out my figures and that of my team members. By November I already have a picture of what our closing numbers would be give or take any major changes.

Before proceeding on vacation this November, my team’s balance sheet was a far cry from what we needed. My mind started working overtime on how to overcome the challenge. A part of me was telling me to calm down and not do anything, just abandon myself and everything to God and let Him do what he always does. But the other part of me, the one that plans everything/that loves fixing situations was pondering, trying to figure out what and what can be done. I settled for meeting my senior colleague to help out since his team was doing great. He assured me that by December he will help out. I told myself situation fixed. All was well again and then I went on leave.

During my leave my colleague called to say the person I was banking on had lost almost all his deposit. I kept repeating OMG!

Funny how I thought I had fixed my problem. 

Two weeks later my colleague called that my team just got a huge deposit which was just enough for us to close the year on a good note. When she told me, I screamed and said miracle money!!! This was God coming through for me once again.                 

After the call I got thinking, when would I learn? I’ve seen God work mysteriously as per my job several times, yet I still doubted and tried to fix it myself. I told myself that hence forth I won’t make that mistake again. Whatever comes, I‘ll just let God. Even if I lose my job, I’ll know it’s His plan for me because one thing I know for sure is He always gives me better. I’m done with the planning, obsessing and trying to control everything.

10.          IT’S YOUR LIFE NOT THEIRS

You know how it seems we’ve all got other people’s lives figured out but have no clue what next to do with ours?

Opinions…everyone has that. Society has laid out plans for you to live your life, family has certain expectations for you to meet, your friends need you to act in certain manner so as not to embarrass them, your colleagues need you to be that machine so their work load is reduced…. but hey, it’s your life and not theirs.

“Don’t let nobody tell you your life is over

Be every colour that you are

Into the rush now

You don’t have to know how

Or know it al before you try…- Aly & Aj (Rush)

Everyone seems to know exactly just what decisions you should be making. How long would you have the back seat in your own life? Waiting for people to toss you around with their unsolicited advice. Don’t you think it’s time you do you and just live your life the way it pleases you? Damn society and damn everyone with their idealistic expectation of how you are supposed to live.

Its time you discovered who you truly are and just roll with that. Your happiness and sanity is in your hands. No one can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys.

Life is too short to waste it trying to please anyone or live up to some people’s standards who really don’t care about your happiness. 

Be with those who bring out the very best version of who you are, not those who try to mold you into someone you can’t even recognize in the mirror.

                                                                                                                  

Well, what do I know? …I am but just a kid

THINGS I’M TAKING AWAY FROM 2016

2016 has indeed been a year of learning for me. This post is about the top 10 things I’m taking away from the year. Some of them I have always known but this year I think they really stuck.

                                  

1.         LET GO, YOU’LL FEEL BETTER

There’s this popular saying - choose your battles wisely. There are struggles we can win by fighting hard and persevering but then there are some that we win by letting go.

This year was quite a tricky one. Initially it started on a shitty note, then it got worse. Suddenly it became really great. Soon enough it became sour. Happiness came around once more, disappeared and then I broke down completely. I’ve always known this – Happiness; it comes and goes. It’s a cycle.

I became scared of being happy, any time things seemed okay I had this feeling at the back of my mind it wouldn’t last, that soon something would go wrong.

Looking back I realize I needed to break down in order to sort myself out. What killed me when I was down wasn’t what I was going through, but rather it was my holding on too tightly, hoping so much and waiting eagerly for things to change.

When it got really hard I created this place in my head where I just zoned off to…I needed to be numb, to not feel anything.

-Pyrokardia

I was broken inside and in search of remedy. There was a period, I’ll stay up at night reading and going through people’s blog posts about how they got beat down by life and found their way back. I was searching for hope.   Then I discovered Travis Greene’s The Hill album and the book – When God doesn’t make sense by James C. Dobson. They really helped me find my way back.

Travis Greene’s album gave me inner peace and hope anew in God. Two things that stuck from the album is this – Trust God too much to give up and nothing happens to us, things happen for us ‘cus our God is intentional.

Dobson’s book taught me to let go and just live life because God didn’t owe me any explanation but one thing for sure was He got me and I was safe no matter what, whether I was passing through fire or having it easy, all I needed to do was just let go and live each day at a time.

I woke up and got out of the darkness. Life began to make sense again. I held on too tightly trying to fight it but the moment I let go, I could breathe again. 

2.         I’M NOT A HUSTLER:

There was this episode in the TV Legal series - Suits where one of Harvey’s clients was going to sell his company for a paltry sum. Harvey couldn’t understand why he wanted to let the company go. His client kept saying life is short.

After the client left, his new secretary explained to him that his friend just lost his best friend and has gotten to that point in life where you realize that money doesn’t really matter. All you desire is a quiet life, living peacefully and doing those things you truly love.

I got to that point in life in 2013 December. Working in Lagos got me there. I felt such pain, knew so much misery and unhappiness. When my lucky break came and I got transferred to Benin City, I began to actually live. I told myself I wasn’t going to waste this second chance I had. There is more to life than making money, working 24/7 and then you retire and you still keep hustling never really living life, enjoying it and all the beautiful moments. 

There was a time I was just floating, I was numb and existing. I got to a terrible point in life where I was basically breathing in misery every second. I was damn miserable because I was chasing after things that didn’t matter, holding on to what was killing me but thinking that was the route to the peak of my career and ultimate happiness on the long run. Total crap. 

I’m glad for that sour phase of my life because it’s what made me learn how to truly live life and appreciate the little things of life. I’m no more taking this thing called live all too seriously, just taking it step by step doing the things I really love. Everywhere you see people hustling, meanwhile their youth is passing them by. People try to make all the money in the world without actually enjoying the little things of life. I’m so over that.

There’s so much more that can be gotten out of life than flashy cars, land, buildings in every corner of the country and what not. I crave that intimate touch with life, that deep experience, the savouring of priceless moments, the arts, excitement over little things like hearing your favourite song on the radio or discovering new artists or hearing your fav song used as soundtrack in a movie/series, travelling and seeing new places, taking in the air, road trips, learning new things, or that beautiful connection when you meet someone who has interest in same hobbies as you.

3.         FEAR AND PEOPLE RUIN THINGS

It’s okay to be cautious but being too safe is not a good thing. Truth is ‘too safe’ is another word for fear. I had planned to travel and explore this year. It all seemed like a good idea till it got close to my vacation period. I started thinking maybe I should save the money especially now we are in recession. Actually that was what I was telling myself to prevent me from dealing with the truth - I was afraid. Sick thoughts kept running through my head, like what if I got involved in an accident or I get missing or I get kidnapped….smh

I almost cancelled my planned vacation till I remembered a line from one of my all-time favourite movies – A Cinderella story. “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”. 

I conquered my own limitation but then I made the mistake of sharing my travel plans with people. People can be such dream killers. From one person to another my enthusiasm kept dying. Then I came across the below picture –

It would have been a big shame if I had indeed cancelled my travel plans because I ended up having the best vacation ever. I travelled, I did things I have always desired to, saw places and went to States I haven’t been to before. I actually drove on third mainland bridge. I, Sayi drove from Yaba to outskirts of Lagos, drove past Lekki and Ajah…something I never saw myself doing because I always felt Lagos roads were crazy.

4.         PEOPLE AIN’T SHIT

Loyalty is such a lonely word

It sucks big time when you realize that you are the one carrying the friendship on your head. I get that we are all grown up now with work pressures, family commitments and other stuff, but common if I put in effort, it’s only fair you put in effort too.

Everything can’t always be about you. One sided relationships are just the worst. Even if you are not putting the same 100% at least let me still see some effort from you. 

If you don’t reciprocate, I’ll walk away. I’m nobody’s fool. If I don’t mean as much to you then why am I bothering myself?

Two people really broke my heart this year. Not that I didn’t see it coming, I have been making excuses for them but then it got to a stage where I got fed up and realised I have been wasting my time hoping that someday they’ll change and actually care for the friendship as much as I did.

“Last night I woke the fuck up” – Jon Bellion (Woke the f**k up)

“I am not broken, I’m not crying, I’m not crying

You aren’t trying hard enough

…

‘Till I realize, I’m just too much for you”– Beyonce (Don’t hurt yourself)

It’s simple – be with those who value you.

5.         BE TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE

“If it’s love you need, to give it is my joy” – Destiny’s Child (Cater 2 u) 

That some people are shit doesn’t mean I have to stop being who I am or totally give up on people (even though to a large extent people are really not it). 

I was discussing with Chiyenum one evening about how I’m tired of being there for people and no one seems to be there for me. I wanted for once to be catered for. 

“I’m left with no shoulder

But everybody wants to lean on me

I guess I’m their soldier

Well, who’s gonna be mine” – Beyonce (Save the hero) 

Financial independence is good and I’m grateful for that, grateful to be the one being there for people and not the other way around, but I think it would be really nice to have someone do nice stuff for me for a change. 

Scratch that thought! I once had that, heck, I have had those friends who did nice things for me but being the screwed up kid I am, I stopped them. I do not know how to let someone take care of me. 

Back to my conversation with Chiyenum, after ranting about wanting a break out of the normal routine and just really have someone treat me nice, he explained that some people are born to be givers. That even though people might exaggerate their situations and take advantage of their kind hearts, they will always be givers.

Being there for people gives me joy, solving issues for people and helping fix problems at work gives me joy. I just love giving relief to people. It’s who I am and that people are shitty shouldn’t change that.

TO BE CONTINUED....