LAMENTATIONS PT. 2

They say don’t run away from your fears/troubles/problems/issues but rather you should face them and deal with them squarely.

What if I am not strong enough to face them now?

‘Man know thy self’ – Socrates

I am the one going through the pain or issue; I am the one feeling the hurt.  Sorry I am not the fun guy you used to know or I am a bore now, but hey do you realize I may barely be hanging by a moment? You can only empathize with me and wish me well but it’s I who knows exactly how it hurts. Then again why do you even need me to get better soonest? Is it because you really care about my well being or just for your own selfish reason? maybe because you need me to keep you company, drive away your boredom, make you laugh always or maybe help you complete a task.

I am me and I know myself well enough to know how much I can handle or deal with at a time. So let me run for now, because I am not strong enough to fight. Don’t pressurize me into fighting a war I am not ready to fight. Don’t bring me down with words, making me feel I am immature or weak. Allow me take things in my own stride because this is my life. Don’t make me fight with wounds that are still open, because I have to please you or meet up to your standards because I feel the need to make you see me as strong.

Allow me to crawl to a safe haven where I can heal and prepare for battle; if I face them now, even with you by my side I may not survive. Let me pick myself up and be ready. I am bruised, I am hurt and I have so much pain. I may be down now, but not forever. Yeah, I’ll get over it eventually and maybe even really soon but that doesn’t make it hurt any les right now.

Each person is unique and has his/her own measure of strength and ability to withstand hits. Don’t judge me by your strengths or capabilities. Let me process this and when I am ready I’ll come back stronger and ready, well prepared to face my problems.

At times things happen so quickly, it feels like your life is passing by so quickly you can’t even seem to catch your breath. Sort of, it’s as if an external force is has totally taken control and you feel you are not the one living your life. Everything becomes so overwhelming, you can barely breathe. This is exactly how I feel.

It’s like someone else is living my life for me. This is when I know I have to take a break. I need to breathe, like literally breathe in deeply and just inhale and exhale repeatedly in slow motion…shut the world out and just focus and take a hold of my life once again.

So no, I am not running but going through a process so I can get back on the right track before I crash or lose my very self in all this madness. Because at the end of the day all we have is who we are….

This song pretty much sums it all up... WHO WE ARE by RYAN CALHOUN

Mom and Dad

Don’t worry about your son

I’ll be ok

I’ll take these days one by one

Though the times are hard

I still know where I belong

I keep looking up so I can hold on

For now

I’ll choose this life I live

And for now I’ll choose to take my hits

Cuz at the end of the day all we have is who we are

Life hurry now

I’m running out of time

And I’m growing weak

As are these dreams that are mine

Though the days are long

I’m still running strong

I keep looking up

So I can hold on

For now

I’ll choose this life I live

And for now I’ll choose to take my hits

Cuz at the end of the day all we have is who we are

For now

I’ll choose this life I live

And for now I’ll choose to take my hits

Cuz at the end of the day all we have is who,

At the end of the day all we have is who we are

At the end of the day all we have is who we are