MUSIC REVIEW - TOP EPs FROM FIRST HALF of 2020

Extended Plays commonly referred to as EPs are best described as longer than a single (one track) but shorter than an album (compilation of many tracks). Albums can also be referred to as Long Plays (LPs). On average, an EP consists of 4 to 6 tracks, unlike LPs that have from 8 Tracks upwards. There is however no specific standard; Kelly Rowland’s last EP has just three tracks, while Ed Sheeran’s last EP has 15 tracks. But most usually have a maximum of 5 songs. I hate EPs where all the tracks are remix versions of just one song, seriously what's the idea?

Why EPs? For one, they are cheaper and easier to produce compared to LPs. New artists use it as a promotional tool to build their fan base before their debut album release. Also, established artists use it to stay relevant between major album releases. Others use it as a means for artistic freedom. EPs come in handy when an artist wants to experiment with their sound.

EPs are not judged critically as full-length albums, hence the free hand given to artists by their record labels over the control of the material on their EPs. I love EPs because they show the true artist. There is rarely the issue of overproduction that overshadows the authenticity of the songs. EPs allow artists to express themselves freely.

Most songs on EPs eventually find their way to LPs (I’m not a big fan of this, especially when half the songs on the album are from a previously released EP).

Like I previously mentioned in my last post, EPs got to me more at the beginning of 2020 than full-length albums. I have made a countdown of my favourite EPs from the first half of 2020 (January to June) starting from my favourite -

1. The End of Everything – Noah Cyrus

The first single off this EP - ‘I was so high that I saw Jesus’ got my interest piqued. I was expecting a full album release, especially as she had dropped three promotional singles that were not on her first EP.

The End of Everything EP shows the vulnerable side of Noah and had me appreciating her even more than I did when I heard her Make Me (Cry) song she did with Labrinth back in 2017.

My favourite track on the EP is ‘Ghost’. This song mirrors me, especially those moments when I feel lost.

‘And when you’re looking in the mirror
Demons may be closer than they may appear
You can even cry and sit, and stare
When trying to run away, I’m tryna run away'

2. Things I wanted to Tell You – Kina

I have probably
played the first single off this EP – ‘Get
you the moon’ a million times between when I first heard it last year and
now. The song gets to me every time and warms me up, even though there is no
particular person I attach to it.

Tiktok made the second track - ‘Can we kiss forever?’ popular. The EP feels like a too little too late letter to an ex-lover you didn’t let them know just how much they truly meant to you while you guys were together. Kina's voice is filled with regret, flowing well with the mellow pop production on the songs as he lets his honest feelings know.

3. Joel Adams – Joel Adams

This was a lucky download. I was drawn by the loneliness expressed on the album art. It was love at first listen. I felt every word, especially on my favourite track ‘Slipping off the edge’. The darkness in the song feels so comforting mostly because it says everything I feel when life gets overwhelming. He sings - ‘I don’t want to see no doctor/Just so he can sit down there smiling/Pretending that they know my history/Like he has any idea’.

The verses and chorus hit even darker than these lines, however, these lines are part of how I feel about therapy. The whole idea of opening up to a stranger to psychoanalyse me doesn’t fully sit well with me.

4. Made Up Lost Time – Kevin Garrett

Another lucky download. The dark album art drew me in. Asides the beautiful songwriting, I love the mellow pop production on the EP. It makes for an easy and calm listen. The songs are centered around Kevin navigating his personal growth with his lover. It's about him trying to grow from his old self to a new person he hopes his lover still loves. My favourite tracks are ‘Tell you how I'm feeling’, ‘Factor in’ and ‘Can’t come back now’.

I relate so well to the lyrics of ‘Can’t come back now’ – “I swear we can’t fix something we cannot figure out/but I know it, you know it…when it all settles down/but we can’t come back now”

5. Winter Hurts – Jacob Whitesides

From his first EP
to the last album, Jacob has gotten better. On this EP, his growth can’t be
missed. This is his most mature effort yet. My stand out track is ‘God took a bow’ which is about someone
he is deeply in love with and is in awe of how much magic they make while
together.

When I first saw the song title, I thought it would be one of those controversial songs about God, but turns out he was appreciating his lovers perfect looks, such that God took his time creating her. You know how when you've performed excellently, a panel of judges tells you to take a bow as you have nothing else to prove.

The EP is made up of stripped-back pop ballads with minimal production, giving his vocals a solemn feel.

6. In Between Minds – Rhys Lewis

I can’t exactly
remember how I came across this EP or Rhys Lewis, but my strong guess is, I
heard the first track ‘Hold on to
happiness’ on one of the Apple music playlists I saved.

This is a
stripped-down EP which gives a calming feel on the listeners. The EP is
centered on hope and loss. I love the gentleness of the EP and how the songs quietly
transition.

On ‘Better than Today’ he sings over minimal production (as with most of the tracks)– ‘Times get tough/But I don’t give up/’Cause I know I’m not alone/’Cause we’re all reaching for something/We’re all craving change/Hopin’ tomorrow is better than today’.

The way he stretches his voice on the bridge of this track, carrying the emotions in each word, breaks me and gets me all up in my feelings. This song saves me every time.

7. Hold It Together – Jp Saxe

I discovered Jp Saxe one evening when I stumbled on a video of him and some other artists singing ‘If the world was ending’ through one the video conferencing apps on youtube. I had to go check out the original track which features Julia Michaels. Next thing, I was hooked on the entire EP. ‘If the world was ending’ is the most popular track on the EP, but other songs like ‘Explain you’ and ‘Hold it together’ are just as good.

I love the mellow sound of the EP and also the great lyrical content. This is the kind of EP you listen to while drifting to sleep, thinking of love lost.

8. Cape Elizabeth – Noah Kahan

I’m no stranger to Noah. I’m familiar with his previous EP - Hurt Somebody and full-length album – Busyhead. Cape Elizabeth EP has Noah delivering an outstanding acoustic folk album. Impressively, the EP was written and produced in one week, during the wake of the coronavirus pandemic earlier this year.

The songs are about life, uncertainties, and reassurance. This EP helped calm me a lot of times when life felt overwhelming and confusing during the peak of the lockdown period.

9. Bubble – Ant Saunders

A debut EP from the 19year old who found fame with ‘Yellow hearts’ after the song went viral, thanks to TikTok. The song’s large streaming numbers earned him a top 20 spot on Billboard Hot 100. Interesting how this track was initially released independently on his graduation day last year. The success of the song earned him a record deal and led to the release of his first EP – Bubble.

This is an impressive debut from him, mostly as the EP in its entirety was written, recorded, and produced by him. The EP is a feel-good mix of pop and R&B with a bit of retro vibe. My favourites are ‘Yellow hearts’ and ‘u know it’s real’.

10. Watching You – Robinson

This is another
artist I discovered on one of the Apple music playlists I listen to. The EP is
about heartbreak. The four-track EP feels like a build-up to the last track ‘Watching you’, which is the core of the
EP and also its title track. To watch the one you love move on and love someone
else, has got to be one of the hardest things to deal with.

On ‘Watching you’ she sings – ‘I’m too tired to pretend last night didn’t hurt/When you called me a friend/And it wouldn’t be the first time you made cry/You don’t even know why/And I’m watching you as you watch her’.

My favourite
tracks are ‘Lie to me’ and ‘Watching you’.

Bonus

11. Self Portrait – Sasha Sloan (Released 2019)

Though released
last year, I came across the EP first half of this year. The lyrics are very
relatable and helped me navigate the feelings I was processing. Like the EP
title goes (Self Portrait), the songs are introspective. From struggles with
anxiety, depression, uncertainties, and not fitting with societal standards,
each song deals with issues almost everyone can resonate with.

On the opening track – ‘Thoughts’ she sings

‘Thoughts
Sometimes, I just can’t control my thoughts
No medication’s ever made them stop
All I think about is everything I’m not
Instead of everything I got
….
Yeah, I swear to God I’m trying, but I don’t know how to be
How to be a good friend to the voice inside my head that’s telling me I’m okay’

The songs have minimal production, allowing her vocals center stage. The lyrics are dark, honest, and vulnerable, carrying so much weight we all feel in our daily lives.

The darkest song on the EP is ‘Too sad to cry’ which is about depression and feeling helpless, she sings – ‘I’m not suicidal/But sometimes the lines get all blurry/Yeah, I cut my hair/Closed the blinds/Played Hallelujah like two dozen times/And yesterday I tried to pray/bt I didn’t know what to say/I’m too sad to cry’.

12. Waiting for Departure – Adam Agin

While cleaning out my bookshelf recently, I came across a DVD compilation of rock songs my then girlfriend in the University gave to me. One song that came to mind was Adam Agin’s Please don’t leave quite yet. I reached for my phone to check him out on Apple music. I saw he had an EP out this year already. The first two tracks on the EP are such a pleasant warm delight.

Due to how good the EP was, I found myself listening to his entire discography on Apple music which turned out to be worth it.

13. all the things I never said – Tate McRae

I got to know
about Tate McRae when I heard her single – ‘You
broke me first’ on one of my saved Apple Music playlists. Though this
single is not included in her debut EP (released after the EP), it led me to
the EP.

Two out of the
five tracks on the EP (‘Stupid’ and ‘Tear myself apart’) were co-written
with Billie Eilish.

The EP reminds me of certain issues I dealt with when I was a teenager. Tate was able to channel her teenage struggles, both personal and those arising from interactions with her friends and her environment into a decent pop EP.

MUSIC REVIEW - MY TOP ALBUMS FROM FIRST HALF of 2020

It’s nice
to note that Covid-19 has got nothing on music releases. Well, even though it
led to tours being cancelled or moved to next year, artists were still able to gift
us with albums. Suck it covid!

For me, 2020 started a bit slow on the music scene. Mostly, it was EPs I was feeling before the ‘good’ albums started rolling in. I had already marked the release date for One Republic’s album, only to open apple music on the supposed release date and see they pushed it back to December 31!!  My heart broke.

Sam Smith also
pushed back his album release and scrapped the album name. Based off his
released singles - ‘Dancing with a Stranger’, ‘How do you sleep?’ and ‘I Feel
love’ (Donner Summer cover), I was expecting a different sound (Dance pop and
Disco) from him.

However, he
released – ‘To die for’ and also included the last year single - ‘Fire for fire’
on the album track list (these songs are his regular sound). He further released
another single – ‘I’m Ready’ featuring Demi Lovato which was back to the Dance
pop genre. The album was fast beginning to sound too experimental and a bit
disjointed, besides he had released almost half the songs on the album as
singles. I’m trusting his decision to rework the songs on the album will pay
off real good.

I’m highly
anticipating his new single with Bruna Boy titled ‘My Oasis’. It has to be
nothing short of magic. I screamed when I saw Sam’s announcement on his Instagram.
I doubt this paring ever crossed anyone’s mind.

After compiling this list I realized that it was comprised of majorly male artists/bands. I remember the uproar that greeted the Grammys a few years back over lack of representation of female artists in the nominations. I went through my last year list and saw it was male dominated as well. It got me wondering, were the women pulling the gender card or are they really not that great artists as the male folk or is there truly marginalization of female artists?

I mean, I’ll
say most of the greatest voices in music are from female artists but when it
comes to commercial success, the music industry is male dominated. Maybe the
root cause is, record labels not signing enough ladies? Or what do you think?
Even when shortlisting albums, the number of albums from the male folk almost
doubled those released by females this year. Have you ever noticed this
disparity in numbers amongst the sexes in music?

Without much further ado, here’s a countdown of my favourite albums from first half of 2020 -

12. Horizons – Surfaces

This is a feel good album sure to brighten your day. Even the album art breathes hope and positivity.  The kind of album needed in these weird trying times. 2020 has been a lot and I personally have had moments of mental struggle with all that’s been happening and this album always has a way of lifting my mood. The album is a mix of pop, reggae, jazz and hip hop to give a collection of summer jamz one can listen to on a lazy day.

Favourite Tracks – Take it easy, Sunny side up, Remedy, Horizons, Keep it gold

11. How to be Human – Chelsea Cutler

I got to know Chelsea on her joint EP with Jeremy Zucker (Brent). Something about her voice always gets me. A bit coarse and perfect for emotional laden songs whether it’s a pop song like ‘Sad tonight’ or a heart wrenching ballad like ‘I was in heaven’. This album has a balanced mix of pop songs and ballads centred about losing love. Two things stand out on the album; Chelsea’s song writing prowess and her sincere vulnerable lyrics.

My
favourite track off the album is ‘I was in heaven’. The lyrics – ‘you don’t see what you saw in me when you
said you’ll never leave’ broke me
and helped me process the pain of being walked out on.

Favourite Tracks – What would it take, I was in heaven, Are you listening, Nj, Somebody else will get your eyes, I miss you, Lucky, Crazier things

10. Lady Like – Ingrid Andress

I got to know Ingrid Andress and her debut album from Reward’s Favourite Country  Albums/EPs of 2020, so far. The theme of this album bothers on Love and the timeline of relationships.

I feel
this is a concept album in reverse. It sort of tells a story when you listen to
the album from the last track to the first. She knows who she is on Track 8
(Lady Like) and won’t be put in a box. On Track 7 (Life of the party) she is at
a party looking happy and fly, but within she is hurting because her lover left
her. Track 6 (More Hearts than Mine) has her reminiscing about the
disappointment the breakup will have on her folks who are also vested in her
relationship, while Track 5 (Anything but love) has her struggling to forget
her lover who has since moved on.

Track 4 (The Stranger) has her wishing they could start over and meet afresh in a bar as strangers and rekindle the love, while on Track 3 (We’re not Friends), she finds herself in a situationship, likely a rebound. She says they may pretend to be just friends but kissing at 2am, is definitely not what friends do.

On Track 2 (Both), she gives her rebound guy an ultimatum, either he is in fully or he is out as he can’t do both. Track 1 (Bad advice) explains how the rebound was a bad advice from her friends and how she is always taking bad advice to move on from breakups.

This might
not have been Ingrid’s idea about the album, but I think it fits perfectly well
or it’s just my overzealous love for concept albums.

‘Both’ is
my favourite track off the album because it depicts a situationship I recently walked
away from. I was the indecisive one, not wanting to commit but wanting to enjoy
the perks of a relationship. I knew it was not fair to the other and so I ended
it.

“You’re blurring the lines
You’re playing two sides
Just make up your mind

You can tell me to stay
You can push me away
Have space or get close
But you can’t do both
You can kiss me goodnight
Or kiss me goodbye
Baby, love me or don’t
But you can’t do both”

Favourite Tracks – Both, The Stranger, Anything but love, Life of the party, Lady like

9.  Walls – Louis Tomlinson

The last
of the One Direction lads to release a solo album. The album opens with the punk
rock genre track - ‘Kill my mind’ which tells the listener that he is setting
his own path and not following the now defunct One Direction band’s britpop
sound. Though tracks like ‘Don’t let it break your heart’, ‘Always you’ and
‘Defenceless’ sound like typical One Direction songs, his path is quite clear. It’s
been interesting watching each of the ex-members of the band find their individual
sound. I have always loved Louis for his unique somewhat cracked voice and
always felt he will go the rock genre route.

This album
is majorly Britpop and Indie rock. The album revolves around the theme of loss
and hope. This is not surprising considering the tragedy Louis has had to deal
with following the death of his mother and then his sister. ‘Two of us’ feels
like the core of the album, a song he wrote about his late mother.

Sadly the release of the song was followed by the death of his sister. Knowing this makes the pain in the song even achier. 

Favourite Tracks – Don’t let it break your heart, Two of us, Walls, Habit, Always you

8. Kid Krow – Conan Gray

I was on
music explore on twitter one night when I came across Conan’s tweet announcing
the release date for his debut album. He stated the songs were a reflection of
his life story. Being a sucker for art emanating from personal experiences, I
took note of the date. Getting this album was worth it. The album is filled
with bold production different from the commercial sound out there. I love how
each song tells a story about a group of friends growing up together. Mostly, it’s
his unconventional sound and song writing prowess that gets to me.

Favourite Tracks – Comfort crowd, The cut that always bleeds, Fight or flight, Affluenza, Little Leauge, The Story

7. Love is not dying (Deluxe Edition) – Jeremy Zucker

After 8 EPs,
Jeremy finally released his debut full length LP and it is everything. I
remember feeling different range of emotions the first time I listened to the
album. The 24year old has built his art around dark lyrics and moody sound
which sometimes sounds way too mature for someone that young, you begin to
wonder what lemons life must have thrown him. His joint EP ‘Brent’ with Chelsea
Cutler is one of my favourite EPs.

Love is
not dying album (Deluxe edition) takes you on a complete emotional ride with a
theme around heartbreak. This album is sad and beautiful with powerful moments
ranging from pain to resilience and then surrender.

What
stands out on this LP is Jeremy’s perfect mastery of the use of
silence/quietness in the production. This shows up heavily on tracks like ‘Orchid’,
‘Full stop’ and ‘Julia’, giving the songs a weightier feel. On ‘Full stop’, sad
lyrics about struggling with letting go of lost love flows perfectly with
initial slow minimal production that builds all through the track until the
bridge where marching bands rise to a crescendo and then comes to a halt,
fading into a quiet ending that transitions safely into the next track. This is
one track sure to take you on an emotional journey.

Favourite Tracks – Somebody loves you, Orchid, Not your friend, Full Stop, Julia, Always I’ll care, you were good to me (bonus track), comethru (bonus track)

6. Heartbreak Weather – Niall Horan

This album
didn’t sit well with me on first listen. I felt disappointed that after delivering
an outstanding debut folk album, he went the way of commercial pop on his sophomore
album.

However,
being a champion of artistic freedom, diversity and growth, I gave the album another
listen, this time with an open mind. I realized that same way I initially
dismissed Taylor Swift’s first pop album (1989) which later turned out to be an
excellent pop album, Niall’s Heartbreak Weather album also turned out to be a
good typical pop album – catchy
songs lacking lyrical depth.

The theme
of the album can easily be deduced from album title. However, due to the loud pop
funky production on most of the songs, the emotions that should carry the album
theme are lacking. Niall did well on songs like ‘Dear Patience’, ‘Bend the
rules’, ‘Put a little love on me’ and ‘Still’. I think these songs saved the
album for me.

The closing
track – ‘Still’ feels like it was taken off his previous Flicker album. ‘No
judgement’ is one of my favourites though it has striking similarities with ‘I
don’t care’ by Ed Sheeran ft Justin Bieber off of the former’s last EP - No 6
Collaborations project.

This album
is not an artistically great album but it’s definitely that album you keep
listening to repeatedly even though it’s not your typical poison. It’s supposed
to be an album about heartbreak, but ironically it’s more of a feel good album.

Heartbreak
weather could easily be another One Direction album. I’ll love him to go back
to singing folk songs because that makes him standout as an artist, especially
as it’s very distinguishable from the typical One Direction sound.

Favourite Tracks – Dear Patience, Bend the rules, Put a little love on me, Arms of a stranger, No Judgement, San Francisco, Still

5. Boo of the Booless – Chike

After
wowing everyone with his rendition of James Arthur & Emeli Sande’s Roses on
his blind audition for The Voice (Nigeria), Chike gifts us with one hell of a
decent album that perfectly blends a bit of pop and RnB while maintaining the
afrobeat sound. The first half of the album is comprised of mid tempo jams that
is sure to get you moving your body, while the other half comprises mostly
ballads that accentuates the effect of his unique vocals. Everything about the
album is almost perfect; song arrangement, lyrical content, production and
track length.

The opening track serves as an appetizer as to what is to come, a bit slower in tempo than most of the first half songs. However, from track two, the album sort of peaks and begins a pleasant ride till the closing high life track that has him singing mostly in Igbo dialect. The change in genre on this track gives the album a refreshing closing.

For an
album filled with great lyrical content, the album title feels like a lazy
effort. The album is centred on love. The track ‘Forever’ is that song you send
to bae to reassure them about how much you love them. I remember hearing
‘Faithful’ for the first time on my way to work and thinking to myself that the
song felt like a letter from my ex to me.

The lyrics fit perfectly in relation to how we felt about each other at a point, but one of us had already moved on to a new relationship.

“Your smile still lightens up the day
Your voice still ringing in my brain
I hope your memory will fade

And cheating is a sin
Especially with someone who really loves me
So I’ll make sure not to fall to day

I’m faithful
I can’t be the one for you
I have someone who loves me
Even though I think that I love you”

This is
not your typical album from a Nigerian artiste. It falls in the same category
of new age singers who have chosen to follow the less commercial path and
deliver songs with lyrical depth and less radio friendly sounds.

Boo of the booless is an impressive debut album which was released independently without the backing of a record label. The quality of the album has been its selling point and I think Chike deserves all the success for this body of art. It was hard to pick my favourite tracks as I actually love all the songs. This is a no skip album.

Favourite Tracks – Nakupenda, Forever, Amen, Finders Keepers, Insecure, Forgive, Faithful, Watching over me

4. Remember to Remember Me – Isak Danielson

I found
out about the sophomore album from Isak on someone’s Insta story. The person
used ‘Remember to remember me’ as backing music on her picture. Hearing his
emotion filled vocals as the music played, reminded me of how good his debut
album was.

I went to
check out the single and found out he had actually released a full length album
with that track as the Album title. Well, that’s the standout track on the
album.

This album
is honest and vulnerable. Isak is not afraid to bare his weakness in letting go
of an elusive lover who though toxic, still has a strong hold on him. The
opening track – ‘Religion’ gives an insight to his ex-lover’s manipulative
ways.

People
make statements of leaving a relationship that no longer serves you, like it’s
a switch you can just flip on all the memories and walk away without feeling
any pain or struggle. This album portrays the cycle of frustration, as well as
the back and forth you go through trying to let go of someone you are still in
love with.

On ‘Remember to remember he sings solemnly -

“I don’t like the part of moving on
I hate to say goodbye
I can’t stand this bedroom all alone
When everything reminds me of you laying by my side”

Songs like
‘Part of me’, ‘Love me wrong’, ‘I don’t need your love’ and ‘Feel something’
perfectly covers his turmoil, almost like he is losing his sanity trying to
reason with himself on why letting go is the right thing to do, but yet his
heart fails him and he still wants the lover to rescue him.

The
closing track ‘Last song’ is a tired and defeated Isak accepting his pain and
reality, he says his final goodbye as he watches his lover fade away. I think
this is one of the lowest points, to watch someone you love dearly slip away
from you. Even when you are ready to ignore their faults, knowing that no words
you say or actions can prevent them from leaving. To watch it all fall apart
helplessly, tragic.

The album
also covers his struggle with anxiety on songs like ‘Silence’ and ‘Light up’. The
quality of this album makes it so hard to believe Isak is just 22 years old.

Favourite Tracks – Remember to remember me, Light up, Feel Something, Last song

3. Bigger Love – John Legend

I have
always loved John Legend’s albums in small bits. I find his full length albums a
bit boring. A couple of songs sound great but listening to the entire album?
I’ll sleep off half way.

However
that’s not the case on his seventh studio album - Bigger love, which as the
title clearly infers is about love in all its spheres. From the opening track -
‘Ooh Laa’ (which samples The Flamigos’s I Only Have Eyes for You), the loud
production (reminisce of his last album – Darkness and Light) keeps you alert
as his creamy voice pleasantly drools over each note.

When I
heard the first single off the album – ‘Conversations in the dark’, I thought
this was going to be the peak of the album. But the album boasts of deep cuts
that gives the song a run for its shine. The album has a good mix of up-tempo
songs and ballads.

This album
would have been much stronger if he had pruned the track length, I mean 16
tracks is quite a lot.

Favourite Tracks – Wild, U move I move, Focused, Conversations in the dark

2. Graves into Gardens – Elevation Worship

For me,
this album starts from track 3. The first two tracks feel out of place on the
album. They have strong messages, but the tempo of the tracks doesn’t feel
right with the switch in flow from track three till the album closes out.

Reward
shared ‘Graves into Gardens’ track with me early in the year. The song is about
restoration and it moved me. I heard the first single off the album – ‘The
Blessing’ on Television one evening and I had to shazam it, it was a pleasant
surprise seeing it was by Elevation worship. These two tracks had me
anticipating the album.

The album
is a blessing and gives one this unexplainable calm, reminding us of God’s
sovereignty. This album is a call for us to surrender and hold on to God during
these weird times because He’s never lost a battle.

I fell in
love with this album on first listen. A true worship experience that leaves
your soul watered.

This is one of the most beautiful gospel albums out there. Songs sure to give you chills are ‘Graves into Gardens’ and ‘What would you do’. I’m thankful for this album, especially in a year like 2020 that has been filled with a roller coaster of emotions.

Favourite Tracks – Graves into Gardens, The Blessing, Available, Never lost, What would you do

1. One Day at a Time - Kodaline

This album
could not have come at a better time. With all that’s been happening around the
world, this album breathes hope and brings light into what has seemingly been a
dark year.

The theme
of the album is hope and it preaches the importance of a support system, having
someone to lean on when things are not so good. The track ‘Sometimes’ is about
dealing with anxiety and loss.

I love how
precise and straight to the point the 10 tracks on the album are. All songs complement
each other in preaching the message of hope and unconditional love.

This album
was love on first listen for me, another no skip album from 2020 with deep
social message. I felt most of the songs deeply. The track – ‘Saving grace’
ignited a spark in me. Just as the album title goes, this period we all have to
take it one day at a time till it all blows over and we are back to the normal
we are familiar with.

I know how hard it is to reach out to others when life gets overwhelming, personally I struggle with this. The lyrics of ‘Say something’ captures this feeling so well - 

“When it cuts so deep when you try to speak
But the words don’t come out right
You can lean on me when it’s hard to breathe
You can call me anytime
So please
Say something to me”

See, this album is a life saver. I think this is what they were going for on their previous album – Politics of living, however that album got a bit incohesive.

Favourite Tracks – Wherever you are, Sometimes, Saving Grace, Say something, The Evening, Heart open

WORTHY MENTIONS

1. Dear Happy – Gabrielle Aplin (Genre - Pop)
2. South Side – Sam Hunt (Genre – Country pop)
3. Manic – Halsey (Genre
   - Pop)
4. Now or Never – Brent Kissel (Genre - Country)
5. Yellow – Brymo (Genre
   - World)

UNDERWHELMING ALBUMS

Looking for the Good – Jason Mraz

This is not a bad album per say. I’m actually impressed Jason decided to release a reggae album. However, like someone once said – reggae is one beat over which different musicians sing different lyrics. Not entirely true though, UB40, Bob Marley and even new age reggae artist – Jah Cure don’t have all their songs having similar production. The one major flaw on the 7^th studio album from Jason Mraz, is the similar production on all songs, making the album lacklustre.

Chromatica – Lady Gaga

Most
persons thought Lady Gaga will continue from the massive success of ‘Shallow’
on her next studio album, but the first single – ‘Stupid Love’ buried that
thought. It was a taste of what was to come; another Artflop Artpop.

Comparing this album with The Fame or The Fame Monster will be a long shot. Born this way is the last good album by Lady Gaga. What confuses me is, she is not new to this genre. Her first three albums which were superb were also dance/electropop. They had depth and melody. Chromatica is a complication of similar sounding overproduced songs with most of the songs lacking melody.  Something is not working anymore, her songs are now so easily forgettable and boring. She needs to go back to the drawing board for real.

Velvet - Adam Lambert

I thought when Adam finally releases the side B of Velvet, it will have more of the retro mid tempo sound he went for on the first two released singles. Sadly, I think Adam lost the plot he initially had for this album. Turned out to be a very huge let down and his worst album ever. I’m not sure his touring with Queen is having any good effect on his solo career. It’s sad to watch him lose identity and take up the band’s persona.

MISSED OUT FAVOURITE ALBUMS FROM 2019

Onwards to Zion – Vancouver Sleep Clinic

I was aware of the sophomore album from Vancouver
Sleep Clinic but I had not yet let go of my poverty mentality embraced
streaming. I couldn’t find a link for download. However, this was one of the
first albums I streamed after I signed up on Apple music, thanks to the nudges
from Reward.

A follow up to his superb debut album – Revival, Tim Bettinson who makes up the band - Vancouver Sleep Clinic, shows growth on his sophomore. Honestly, you won’t even think for a second that it was released by a 24yr old. I love his sound and it’s perfect for times when I want to shut the world out and tune into myself and feelings.

Lessons in Love – Sinead Harnett

I was talking with an ex, and I asked what albums helped in healing from our breakup. This was one of the albums listed. Standout track for me is ‘Him too’. The words felt like it was directed at me. I realized that while I listened to albums that made me drown in my pain, the other was listening to albums that helped forget me. I guess we all heal differently, huh? Anyway this is one beautiful RnB album I didn’t know existed till that conversation early this year.

Royal Soldier – Jah Cure

I listened to this album last year and loved it but it didn’t make my
year end list. I’m putting it on this list due to Jason Mraz’s underwhelming ‘Looking
for the Good’ album. Royal Soldier is how to do a contemporary reggae album.
All the songs have their own distinct reggae sound and persona. This album is
pleasant to the ears and will have you jamming to the energetic beats.

PHILOPHOBIA?

I’m currently on ‘forced’ leave and thanks to the persisting Covid-19 pandemic, travel restrictions are still in place. I have had so much time on my hands binge watching Tv series, completed another novel and almost ran myself down with negative news about social injustice both at home and abroad.

The news became a major trigger for anxiety attacks, along with the aftermath heartburn that always lingers way after I have calmed down, almost as if to torment me some more.

To think I posted on my Instastory last month that despite not traveling this year, I have managed to not breakdown mentally. I actually termed it growth. I guess I gave myself props way too early as the past two weeks have been a struggle for me. I’m home all day, no working from home to distract me (though I keep being called from the office to help sort out one thing or the other). After a few days I had to put my office line on airplane mode as the sound of the phone ringing started taking a mental toll on me.

The death of someone I admired in the travel space in Nigeria was the final straw to push me over. My mood spiralled downhill and I had to press pause before I had a major downtime. I went off social media, spoke to Henry about how I was feeling to let things out so I don’t implode, being that there’s no traveling or work I could use as escape.

I had no clue on how to redirect myself back to feeling good. I mean, I had ideas of activities to do but I always found myself lying down all day, surfing through social media or laying still, allowing my mind wonder through activities I should be doing but not finding the will power or interest to lift a finger. I wanted to self-destruct. I used online flirting to distract myself but I knew that was not a healthy way to heal. Something felt broken within me. I was exercising (skipping) daily and forcing myself to eat even though I ended up eating breakfast way after 1pm.

I was struggling and I knew I needed to fix up.

Part of my recovery path had me go on a long walk while listening to music. This song by Chelsea Cutler - I was in heaven, came on. It brought up feelings I haven’t fully dealt with, feelings I have been running from. Oh well, Covid has given us enough free time such that we can no longer run from ourselves.

There I was seated at a deserted bus-stop within the University Campus close to my house, and the lyrics to the song hit me hard. I have listened to this song several times since the album dropped early this year, but this particular day, I felt every word. It reminded me of the pain of being walked out on.

“But you don’t see what you saw in me
When you said you would never leave
And I swore that I couldn’t breathe
When you walked away from me”
– I was in heaven (Chelsea Cutler)

I hate rejection and I don’t know how to handle it, worse is abandonment. Yes, I know I’m not an easy person to be with, but that shit hurt. This song reminded me of March 2019, how the one person I have ever loved deeply and totally let my guard around left me. I was walked away from unexpectedly, while thinking things will work out if we tried once more.

This hurt and messed me up. I thought I had healed from our break up but it led me right back to square one and it took me the remainder of 2019 into early parts of 2020 to move past it. Anyway, this is not about this ex. This is about the next person I fell for - T.

I met T August 2019. While I was head over heels, I made it clear I wasn’t ready for any relationship. I had way too many bad experiences to know that there was no need going into another relationship. I mean, I was still getting over a failed relationship. We did off and on till October or so and then went our separate ways.

Fast forward to December 2019. I felt I was healed and ready for a relationship. I went chasing after T. We started dating December 27, 2019 but shit happened in February 2020. I had to relive the horror of being abandoned without prior notice. Things were not exactly smooth but this was almost out of the blues. I still remember the tight knot that formed in my chest. Almost like my heart kept hitting against my ribcage, trying to burst out or maybe shatter itself. I was in real physical pain, not just emotional pain.

I was brought to my knees. My head was all over the place, felt like my life was falling apart and I needed to do everything possible to save myself. I did what I wouldn’t do on a normal day; I begged someone to not leave. I sent messages all night. A part of me knew I was doing this not so the relationship will survive, but to save myself.

I was not sure I was going to survive it. I had to get the relationship back on and plan my exit. I knew we were over for good, but I was not going to survive another broken promise. I don’t think I got any sleep that night. I woke up not wanting to go to the office, I was drained of strength mentally. I felt alive when I got a message from T that we were fine and we will work through it.

I felt relieved and all was well with the world once again. But one thing was for sure, I never wanted to be in that position again. To let someone have that much power to break me. The evening of that day, I broke off the relationship. I was stable by then and was done with trusting anyone with my happiness. I was in protecting myself mode and that’s what I have been on ever since. The thought of starting another relationship isn’t even there, seems so scary. Will it make sense if I say I’m having PTSD from being walked out on?

Growing up I learnt to be by myself. I grew up sheltered. I went through very lonely teenage years. I was lost and trying to find myself, surrounded by a lot of persons but still walking alone. I was all by myself and desperately looking for someone to go through it with, but I never got that. I learnt to be very good at being by myself. I have great close friends and that feels almost enough.

I have always said I’m not a relationship person. There was a time I was fine with short lived flings and it worked well for me. No commitments, no heartbreaks. Once the feelings wore off, that was the end.

I don’t know why I deviated from this and had to yearn for relationships. I told myself I can be a ‘normal’ person and stay the long haul. Despite all the times I saw major red flags, I stayed and built my life around another person in 2017/2018, telling myself I can do long term. What did I get out of it? A shattered soul that made me withdraw from society, broke my trust in people and almost pushed me off the edge. It took me over a year to recover and then I led myself right into another one.

“You’d think that I’d learn my lesson by now
You’d think that I’d somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You’re bound to feel the flame
But I still drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven’t learned a thing” - Learn my Lesson (Daughtry)

To open up and let someone love you, to lean on and trust that person to not let you down…to indeed truly love you as their words say…to let them in completely without holding back, to take that leap, trusting they will not fail you or leave you and hurt you…it definitely takes great faith.

I don’t think I have such faith anymore.

I have had a thorough soul search on this, mentally reviewed past relationships and made peace with the fact that I am not a relationship person. I am okay being on my own.

Don’t get me wrong, I still feel. Truth is, I still have feelings for T, the one who almost wrecked me in February. I have sent T away on several occasions, tried to sabotage us multiple times but we still keep finding our way back to each other. Being human, I yearn for love and companionship along with the pecks that comes with relationships, but I don’t want to commit and do the work. This doesn’t feel right to T who wants it all.

I stumbled on Uche’s blog post titled The Generation That Doesn’t Want Relationships. I resonated so well with it. The post felt like I was looking into a mirror. Here’s an excerpt –

"We want the façade of a relationship, but we don’t want the work of a relationship. We want the hand holding without the eye contact, the teasing without the serious conversations. We want the pretty promise without the actual commitment, the anniversaries to celebrate without the 365 days of work that leads up to them.

We want the happily ever after, but we don’t want to put the effort in the here and now. We want the deep connection, while keeping things shallow.

We want to be swept off our feet, yet at the same time remaining safely, independently standing on our own. We want to keep chasing the idea of love, but we don’t want to actually fall into it.
We want anything that will give us the illusion of a relationship without being in an actual relationship. We want all the rewards and none of the risk, all of the payout and none of the cost. We want to connect – enough, but not too much. We want to commit – a little, but not a lot.

We take it slow; we see where it goes, we don’t label things, we just hang out. We keep one foot out the door, we keep one eye open, and we keep people at arms."

“Be yourself
Be nothing less
Make your choice
And let it rest
When you’re looking for meaning
When you’re lost in a haze
In yourself is the healing
Be the choices you’ve made"
- Sacred to Love (Aron Wright)

Sometimes I wonder why anyone even wants to be with me. I mean,
I’m a host of issues. Complicated, damaged at best, with inadequacies and
insecurities. Most times I’m like; Don’t you love yourself? Why would you love
someone like me or want to be with me? Why would you want to stick around with
this broken being? Don’t you want your life easy and peaceful? Seriously, forget
about me and save yourself.

I don’t aspire to marriage. Marriage seems to be the common
end game of relationships, in it? So why the hell do I want to be in one? I
have made great progress in once again becoming that guy who is fine being
alone, at least now I have legit reasons why I shouldn’t put my heart and
sanity on the line again.

I’m not trying to start
a riot or rebelliously break societal norms. I’m just trying to protect
myself. Being single is not a curse, it’s my choice and I want to believe that’s
fine.

“Truth is, you may not end up with the person you call home. Truth is you may end up alone, but what is alone if your heart is at peace with the contentment that solitude brings?

Truth is, some of us won’t have happy endings because we are too concerned with chasing climaxes. Truth is, love will continue to evade you because you keep looking for it in the wrong places with the wrong persons, double negatives, these charges will drain you like an Iphone after an IOS update.

Truth is, you have to stop walking towards the things that do not serve you and walk to your purpose. Truth is, you keep offering your fruits to those who won’t even plough the soil nor water your soul.

The truth is no one is coming to save you, you need to stop waiting on a crisis or trauma to change your life, truth is only you can save yourself.

Truth is, you do not need proof to validate your feelings, loving fiercely is okay, crying is okay, staying is okay and leaving is okay.

Truth is, you may be defeated right now but that’s okay because the truth is, your victory is in your defeat.

The truth is, you will find him, you will find her, even if that person is yourself.” ­ - Lexonart

I know how as humans, we outgrow things and have a shift in
thoughts and beliefs. How you can meet someone and all you ever believed or
felt strongly about can change. But for that to happen, for me to ever go into
another relationship, it’s going to take a long journey of healing to overcome what
I went through early this year (yes, it will always lead back to February 2020)
because -

"There's a reason I said I will be happy alone.
It wasn't because I thought I'd be happy alone.
It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it.
It's easier to be alone because what if you learned that you need love and then you don't have it.
What if you like it and lean on it?
What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart?
Can you even survive that kind of pain?
Losing love is like organ damage, it's like dying.
The only difference is death ends.
This...it could go on forever"
- Meredith grey (Grey's Anatomy)

COVID-19 AND MY 2020 TRAVEL PLANS

I think I’m having travel withdrawal symptoms. My entire being longs for a change of environment. Going through old travel pictures and clips doesn’t help anymore. Heck, it feels like torture lately, aggravating my wanderlust.

The virtual travel
thingy people are promoting these days is more or less a faux front that
doesn’t cut it. The thrill of landing in a new place and taking in the different
air that hits can’t be recreated through some 360 degree VR movies. But it’s a good
effort still, I mean, it probably works for some persons.

Right now, I’ll appreciate even the shortest local travel. I need to leave this city I have been stuck in all year! This is crazy! For the first time since 2017, this will be the longest I have gone without traveling to another State within Nigeria or another Country.

I know I use travel as
escape when life feels overwhelming but truth is, travel is a huge part of my life.
It’s a part of me, has always been and always will be.

Here’s a back story;

I was always super
excited about excursions in primary school, though my overtly cautious parents
were the ever present kill joys. Fast forward to secondary school, I lived
through my junior secondary days anticipating the Geography excursion that was
customary with SS2. Long before I got into senior school, watching my seniors
line up in excitement as they filled up the buses, I made up my mind that my
parents were not going to prevent me from having this experience. I made good
on this promise.

I remember the sober look, late that night when I stepped into the house after returning from the Geography excursion to Delta State. My parents has been worried sick when I didn’t return from school on time, until a neighbour asked if they were not aware of the class excursion. Lol

The young explorer that refused to be held back

After this hard lesson
learnt by my folks, I think they finally got it that travel was a huge part of
me. They never objected to me going for excursions during my University days,
even when we made a road trip to Benin Republic. Though after my graduation,
they tried it with me once again. One evening I didn’t come home, they called
to inquire where I was. I responded I was in Lagos. The silence at the other
end of the line, priceless.

Ever since then, I haven’t
had issues with them when I want to travel. I have since learnt how to deal
with their unnecessary worries and several calls to find out how I’m doing when
I’m away. Maybe when I’m a parent I will finally get this.

Travel started actively
for me in 2016. I love to explore new places, I’m team see the world. But to a large
extent travel helps me find balance. Those periods off my reality helps me
recharge and find renewed purpose. I have been fortunate to visit 11 countries
and I planned to take that to 18 countries by ending this year, but Covid-19
has other plans.

2020 is fast looking
like a no travel year, no thanks to the novel Coronavirus. A huge part of my life
has been taken away (against my will) and its heart breaking to say the least.

My initial Easter
travel plan was for Singapore, but that had to be cancelled ‘cus at the time, they
had the second largest number of cases after China. Their cases were just below
hundred. If only we knew we would be talking of millions of infected persons
worldwide in two months’ time.

By March I was looking
forward to plan B, being Easter break in Cape Verde. I even made part payment. Flights
started getting cancelled here and there by airlines. My Cape Verde trip also
got cancelled. One thing I have since learnt about traveling is, always keep an
open mind as plans can easily go awry. I started looking out for alternative travel
deals within Nigeria being that most countries were shutting their borders.

Plans for local travels
got cancelled as well when the cases in Nigeria began to rise. Incase I decided
to be brave and still embark on the journey, the universe made sure to seal my
fate as lockdown was announced in several states with their borders shut.

I ended up spending Easter at home.
It’s crazy that I haven’t been to a beach
this year. This isn’t funny anymore.

Fast forward to post
lockdown, which started with a glimmer of hope that soon all this will be a
thing of the past, in good time to plan for an end of year trip. All that hope
has since been quenched with the directive from my Organization’s Human
Resources department, mandating everyone to proceed on 2020 annual leave before
June 30th. This is the final blow to my 2020 travel plans. The end.

I give up. ‘Rona’ has
won.

On the bright side, I’m
going to take this as an opportunity to execute the idea I have been
contemplating regarding funding plans for my travels. I have been considering one
year of no travels, such that I’ll save for the coming year’s travel plans. The
budget for the next year’s trips will be pegged to whatever was saved up the
preceding year, and whatever is saved that year as well, will be the budget for
the next and so on and on. (My travel budget is different from my normal
savings target with each having their dedicated revenue lines).

I think this will be a
nice reset to how I fund my travels, though I don’t know feasible this will be
considering I’m starting this plan second quarter of the year. However, it’s
still worth the shot. Whatever I save will definitely ease up my cashflow for
next year’s plans. Here’s hoping the pandemic will be over by then and it will
be very safe to travel.

I need to feel the rush while doing adventure filled
activities off of my bucket list. Mostly I crave another hike through the woods! I need to explore and
finally do the adventure filled trip I have been dreaming about (one trip where
I will knock off a number of bucket list items).

While I’m praying for
this pandemic to be over so we can all have our lives back and also, so travel
can resume, I don’t think I will be bold enough to embark on a trip till after
three months when it’s over, especially international trips. I can manage local
travels, but outside the country? Not so sure. I mean, even after the rain stopped,
Noah had to send out a bird from the ark to survey the earth to be sure all was
well before disembarking.

“And
he waited yet another seven days, and again he sent the dove out from the ark. Then
the dove came to him in the evening, and behold, a freshly plucked olive leaf
was in her mouth; and Noah knew that the waters had receded from the earth.”
Genesis 8 vs10 – 11.

No
one knows when all this will be over, or how long the new normal will be for. But
I’m hopeful that soon enough, a vaccine will be found and the world can heal/recover
on all spheres and living will once again thrive. Right now we are all just
trying to survive.

This
pandemic has helped me evaluate a lot of things. So many things we took for
granted, like freedom of movement. The first trip after this crisis is going to
be special. It will most likely feel like a rebirth, a gift and I bet almost
every avid traveller will not complain about the mundane stuff we usually throw
tantrums about. We’ll take off our shoes at check points without grumbling. Some
may probably give the immigration officers a broad smile and gladly fill the
landing cards.

But
till then, stay safe, and keep maintaining social distancing.

We’ll
get through this.

Love,
Sayi

• 

  Till it's safe to fly again...

• 

  Cheers to future safe travels...

AND TIME SLOWED...

Stillness.

I doubt I have craved
anything more than my age-old desire for an extended period of quietness. To be
able to count my breath as each second passes without feeling like I am racing
against time. To have a prolonged period of rest without the pressure of meeting
deadlines. To exist, just be, frozen in time; days on days with nothing in
particular to accomplish.

I remember how this
year started in fast forward for me. Work was a marathon, chasing back to back transactions.
This actually started in October last year, reaching a peak in February. The
Christmas break was more or less a haze, swept past without me savouring the
festivities. Work was crazy and the months went in a flash, leaving me burnt
out ending February.

It took a lot of mental
strength trying to balance life and work. The one thing that kept me sane was
my holding on to my planned trip during Easter. I drew strength each day from
looking forward to that escape. The thrill of visiting a new country, relaxing
on a beach with all cares forgotten and eating airplane food after several
months of not flying  (I actually miss
airplane food served during International flights, weird I know).

But then, Covid-19 became
a global problem. It was easier seeing on the news how other countries were
battling the virus, that sense of nonchalance when disaster seems far from
home. Then an index case was discovered in Nigeria and shit got real.

I ended up spending my short
leave slated for the Easter break at home, flights grounded worldwide and
travel plans cancelled.

A lot has changed and
we are all basically winging life through strange times. From the initial panic
and everyone being on edge, to dealing with boredom while at a loss as to how
to navigate this new territory. Initially when the lockdown started, everyone
seemed to be throwing themselves at different things; online challenges, video
calls, hours online and whatever just to pass time.

I think things have slowed as we have all realized this might be the new normal for quite a while. Some persons have settled into the new isolated life, others are still struggling. Personally, at times I have a hang of it all, other times I’m lost/clueless. General nonchalance about the seriousness of the virus is beginning to set in and I foresee a collapse of the lockdown order (if it gets extended further) as economic realities bites harder since our government has failed to provide palliatives to the vulnerable.

Initially, I loved the
rest and extra free time that came when the lockdown started. Though a part of
me felt guilty I was relaxing too much and wasting precious time. I continued reading
the book I was on before the pandemic, spent more hours watching movies and
series, as well as exploring music.

One week into the stay
at home/work from home I got bored. My entire being began to revolt. On a normal
day, I’m an introvert and I love being indoors, but I felt restricted sort of,
like this wasn’t me staying indoors because I wanted to. I guess when choice is
taken from you, it’s never the same.

The haze that was February
was suddenly forgotten. Staying indoors began to take so much effort. I found
myself downloading houseparty, making video calls, doing things on a normal day
I won’t do. I had to talk to myself when I realized I had consumed the amount
of data I used for a month in just 15days. Then I knew I was going about the
lockdown the wrong way. My rule is, when I’m indoors I should be saving money
(as far as I am not doing online shopping).

I saw that infamous post circulating on social media -

This got me a bit
angry. I mean, the motivational fanatics must always do the most. Really though,
people need to chill and learn how to enjoy rest. We must not be doing something
always, chasing this or that.

Just as Chude stated in his post, the lockdown is a gift wrapped up in a pandemic.

“I am receiving the gift of suspension.
I am not placing myself under undue pressure. I am resting. Like a lot of you
need to, especially if you can afford it.

If you haven’t had the time to catch
your breath for weeks or months or years, you have been given a gift, wrapped
up in a pandemic.” - Chude     

It was until I read Chude’s post I realized this was a gift I was letting go to waste. I have long imagined what it would be like to take an extended break off everything. Not have a to-do-list to pursue daily, no work to go to in the morning or be on an itinerary when I’m on a tour.

I had to consciously accept
rest. I chose to bask in it. I was not going to feel guilty about doing
nothing. You know that feeling of guilt whenever you want to take a rest? We
need to dead the idea that relaxation is laziness or waste of productive time.

“I don’t want to rush all through the effort and the hard
work just to get to the end. It’s not a race. I’m not against anyone. This is
not a competition.

I don’t want to get to these milestones I dream about getting
to and find myself exhausted and so burnt out that I can’t enjoy the fruits of
hard work and sustained effort. I don’t want to be miserable at my most proud
moments.” – Jamie Varon

This pandemic has shown
that most of us don’t know how to rest. There is always something we are
chasing. What’s so wrong in deciding to do nothing? To take out time to rest
and savour the progress we’ve made in our journey.

“I never enjoy anything

I'm always waiting for
what's next

I think everyone's like
that...

Living life in fast
forward

Never stopping to enjoy
the moment

Too busy trying to rush
through everything

So we can get on with
what we are really supposed to be doing with our lives

I get these flashes of clarity           

Brilliant clarity
where, for a second I stop and I think

Oh wait, this is it

This is my life

I better slow down and
enjoy it

Because one day we are
all gonna end up in the ground

And that will be it,
we'll be gone...” (Stuck in Love Movie, 2012)

I had to measure myself
after half a month of resting and not indulging in any serious tasks. After two
weeks of free styling each day, I decided to create a plan for myself, sort of
a quarantine routine.

The goal was to keep
myself on a self-development path after chilling resting for a few weeks
while also ensuring I didn’t overdo it. I gave priority to rest being that
working from home is almost a scam. There really is no boundary and I found myself
working at odd hours, weekends were not spared. I mean, you are working from
home so when really is your closing time?

The quarantine routine
was also necessary, because - “a little sleep,
a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come
to you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.” – Proverbs 6: 10 -14 and Proverbs
24: 33- 34 (yup, it’s repeated twice in the bible)

I wanted to be active
and not struggle aimlessly with boredom or idleness. Based on the arrangement
with my colleagues, I went the office twice a week and worked from home the
other days. This helped in lots of ways I didn’t think it would. I was able to
balance the lockdown period by going to the office twice a week. I can’t begin
to imagine what it’s has been like for those living in cities with full lockdown
for a month plus.

So far, I have successfully
read two hard copy books. One was a self-help book, the other a novel. I lost
count of the numerous online articles and blogs I read. I’m currently
studying/reading texts for a professional exam while cooking more often, and
using early morning chores or light workouts to gain clarity for the day.

One thing I love about
the quarantine routine I set up is, it prevented me from overindulging and
getting too comfortable with free time. This pandemic will not last forever,
soon enough it will be back to business. I’d hate to struggle to get back to my
routine when work resumes especially with the announced easing of the lockdown
by May 4. I’m expecting it will be back to daily work routine at the office. Hopefully
this isn’t a ticking bomb that’ll escalate to something terrible like how bad
Italy had it.

I am going to use this
last week of the lockdown to sort out my now distorted sleeping pattern, get
closure on the long hours of sleep I enjoyed and also psyche myself in
readiness for return to the fast lane office routine.

 “Nothing I am spending my time on right now is
part of ‘the hustle’ or some tech bro ten step list to being productive.  I feel focused because I know what is
important to me and I know how good it feels to take consistent, inspired
action.

The
intentions I have for my life aren’t for other people. It’s not to be
impressive or shiny, to be aspirational or prefect, to prove something to other
people.

It’s for my
own well-being, my happiness, my joy.

It’s for the
feeling I get when I act in a way that is loving toward myself.” – Jamie Varon

Weirdly, this period
got some of us learning the right pronunciation of quarantine. I can’t wait
till the term ‘social distancing’ is no more frequently used, God knows I’m
tired of hearing it. But till then, I’m keeping safe while trying to take
things easy and also cut down on news channels as that has proven to be a major
source of fear. Its okay to keep familiar with happenings in my immediate environment,
but to absorb news from every corner of the world about the pandemic is only
asking for panic and anxiety.

We need to pay
attention to our mental health this period and also be smart about our
finances. Cash is king, but doesn’t mean you should spend recklessly in the
name of surviving the pandemic and killing boredom. Prioritise rest, but also
be smart about how you overcome boredom. This is not the time to take up more debts,
try as much as possible to be prudent financially.

Also, wear your face
mask when you are outdoors, always.

This too shall pass and
we will come out stronger.

Love, Sayi